As fans lined up to take photos with the statue of Cristiano Ronaldo, the statue towered above the crowd. A young man carrying a leather bag on his shoulder waited eagerly. I’m on the roof of the Pestana CR7 hotel in Funchal, Madeira, watching.

This CR7 is more like a trip through the mind of a narcissist than a hotel. Ronaldo is present in many places. On the wall are autographed kits from when he played for Manchester United, Real Madrid and Portugal. Ronaldo’s face is plastered on the building’s facade, in the bathroom, on the master bedroom door and above each bed. After all, this is Ronaldo Island. Even the airport has his name on it.

There are fake CCTV cameras in the bathroom looking into the shower for no other reason than to be funny. I covered myself with a towel as a precaution. Luckily for me, I came here not just to experience CR7. I was going to meet my uncle in Machico, the old capital of Madeira and half an hour’s drive from Funchal. If you come here, get out of the city and go exploring after you’ve worshiped the Portuguese superstar, seen Funchal and dared to climb the glass viewing platform on Cabo Giro’s skywalk.

Pete is our tour guide for the week, and we set off in a rickety old Renault Clio with his 15-year-old employee, Lulu. The car hurtled down the island’s steep roads, through long mountain tunnels and along dusty, winding dirt roads.

I saw a bottlenose dolphin jump out of the water, and suddenly there were dozens of dolphins all around us. Madeira is located on a volcano that has stopped erupting, and the rich soil has made it a very green place. We drove past beautifully landscaped trees, including African tulips with bright red, vibrant flowers and tall eucalyptus trees with purple bushes and palm trees between.

“Do you see how the mountain looks like it has stairs?” Pete said as he pointed to the uneven slopes on the mountain. “It’s a farm.” People there have to farm vertically because of the land layout. They mainly grow bananas to grow on the Portuguese mainland and grapes to make Madeira wine. Off the beaten path, there are plenty of trails, caves, beaches and pubs to explore. Apart from Funchal, everything is cheap. Actually, it’s a great deal. Many places on the island cost a few euros and almost every bar offers a drink with a large plate of soaked lupines, monkey nuts, sometimes chicken wings and salted fish. You could probably eat here for a day for the price of a pint in the West End of London.